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Change © Britt Conley

I’ve always wanted to rent an empty, fairly isolated, unfurnished house by the sea or in the woods for an entire month, maybe even two.  I’d bring a car full of canvases and drawing materials.  Some food and a radio would be a good idea, but aside from that… it would be just blankness and me.

My life rarely slows down to a sudden halt and when it does I tend to fill it rather quickly.  This mind simply doesn’t know how to do bored.  Which is why a blank place and nothing to do would be well suited for emerging artistic endeavors. That exact environment would probably bring to  fruition my most focused works.

So, I’ve spent the past few days off of Facebook, and off of I.M. for reasons previously addressed.  It’s not that I chatted much with others, in fact I rarely ever did.  I only have a select few that ever pop into my window and only one of them was my daily mainstay and he has now passed.  Generally when I have been on, I usually see FB friend’s pop on and off but rarely ever pop into their chat windows.  I love my privacy and presume they do as well.  I’m always surprised when someone suddenly appears in mine.  I rather like my hermit living, then again, I rather like the odd unexpected visitor now and then.  It shakes things up.

Jeff and I were prolific FB chatters. Despite the fact that we both worked our way through most of our I.M exchanges… painting, reading, thinking, organizing and researching, we were still tethered to our little chat window and it’s audio, “bloink”.  So three days, being unfettered from checking who’s on and what’s up has been much like renting an empty house.  All those big projects that I’ve been considering are now congealing.  I’m painting up a storm tonight and doing what I should be doing with my time to get this bee back on its way.  Whatever it is, it’s good for me.

Still managed to well up into tears for no apparent reason while trying to enjoy my soup at Corner Bakery.  I guess I’m still a bit raw from things.  But overall I’m enjoying the focus.  Being out and about today aforded me some relaxing drawing time which, for the first time, instilled a desire to infuse some color into an abstract.  I guess I’m missing the color from my nightly chats with Jeff.  It’s as good a guess as any.  Either way, tragedies often come with the gift of change.  It’s painful, but change is always, always a good thing.  I’m embracing this week in my theoretical empty house and focusing on my dreams, desires and creative wants.  I guess you could say, I’m streamlining my ship: getting rid of the old and determining what will be the new.

So today’s drawing is about the complexities of streamlining oneself.  In the center is a still swollen heart that has no choice but to come along for the ride.  As for the coloring… I only had a few colors on hand.  These are not the hues I would choose for the final oils.  As a painting, which this will be one day, I’ll take the right third off and let the rest stand alone for aesthetic reasons.  The space breaths perfectly within that canvas crop.

Britt : )

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