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The Procession of Mourners

If my year could be summed up into a single work with its depth of sorrow it would be this one. There isn’t much to say.  I’ve spent this past year working my way up the mountain to get back to where I once was. Of course I’ve found, like many, that when you lose those people closest to your heart, there is no going back.  All you can do is walk forward and keep walking.  It looks like I’m finally near the top of this mountain and the view should  be amazing.  I expect it will blow me away.  But there is still farther to travel and every once in while I trip and I fall … and I weep.  I guess that’s a normal process when you’ve lost so much.  People are constantly saying how amazed they are at how well I’m doing.  Well, if anything I’m a slave to self preservation.  Not only will I find a way to make it, I’ll make it with streamers flailing from my dust.  But that’s just simple determination and perseverance.  I have droves of both, probably more than most.  My inherent optimism is always fuel for the day.  I will inevitably find that silver lining and if I can’t, I’ll build it.  But the heart…  that is a quiet pilot light that lingers and when you least expect it, it will reach up and trip you, while you’re on your way.  And rightfully so… It deserves a good airing now and again.   So there you have today’s drawing… my heart’s airing of grievances.  And a small note of grieving love to all you that I miss.  I look forward to the day when I can just raise a glass and give a nod and be ok.  Until then, back to work, creating and building.

Mourners © Britt Conley

Britt

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